I miss the old times. I miss the days where I worked in the lab and could flirt all that I cared with Nick and Sara. They were always my favorites. I miss the team as a whole. |
My life as I like it got ruined when the lab exploded, something inside me changed. Granted it took me a few years to realize the change myself, but thinking back I’m sure it was that night that started my downfall.
At first all I could think about was to get back to work and it wasn’t quite right and I thought the solution was to go in the field. It was as long as I worked with Nick. When Ecklie split the team up I ended up stuck with Sophia the bitter. Grissom disappeared into the background for a while because of his health scare and Sara took a bad tumble and was not much of a friend for a long time.
I have been thinking my situation over a million times. I have not had a relationship since I left California over six years ago.
Nick and Sara have been the only two I would consider to get involved with and there is a safe bet. Sara has only had eyes for Grissom all these years and Nick is so straight that he would rather die than look in my direction. Well he almost did when that creep buried him. The fear I felt that day made me feel more alive than I had for while.
I have been trying to put on the happy glasses and rejoice in my career, but it doesn’t do the trick anymore. It is now official that Greg Sanders is a sad human being.
I have written countless letters of resignation and just as many suicide notes, but I have never gone through with it. I check myself in the mirror. The tux and the hair are equally boring, but I don’t care anymore. I just want this silly reception over and done with. Catherine has been with the department for 10 years and they are putting on the big show for her.
Catherine is flanked by Warrick and Grissom. Sara and Nick are at another table with some people from day. I’m sitting next to Sophia who looks like she would prefer, crawling over scrapheap in search of body parts, to being here.
Ecklie is yakking on about how fantastic the lab and Catherine is and I don’t really give a damn. When he stops I excuse myself to Sophia and heads for the veranda to get some fresh air.
I hesitate when I hear familiar voices coming from outside. It rocks my world when I realize it is Nick and Sara talking about me. I want to run but I eavesdrop instead and maybe I shouldn’t have.
“He is so unlike himself and is makes me feel awful. Nick I didn’t see it coming but I don’t think that he can hold on much longer.” Sara’s voice is full of worry and I’ve heard that before when Grissom was ill. She was terrified in those days.
“Come on Sara he is strong. You saw how easily he bounced back after the explosion.” I couldn’t quite place the uneasiness in Nick’s voice.
“Did he? He became so hooked on going out in the field afterwards.” It feels like something is burning in my chest.
“He does seem changed and if his hair is any indicator it isn’t good.” Why is Nick sounding so cast down?
I can’t stand anymore but I’m stuck in place the pain in my chest is increasing.
“He misses you. But he is afraid to ask for your friendship or love.” Did I just hear Sara putting words to my inner most desires?
“Sara you know I’m a fool when it comes to see stuff like that. But I miss him too. I
mean if I felt blue all it took was a few words from him and things weren’t so bad.”
I can’t decide if I should run into his arms or leave, just leave Las Vegas and never look back. I most have moved a bit because Sara turns to me.
“Greg come on out here.” She waves me over and her face is lit up in a smile.
“How are you?” Can I just tell Nick the truth right here right now?
“Ok I guess.” I hate being so scared.
He is looking at me with those wonderful dark eyes and the pain in my chest is still growing. I wonder how long till I drop from a heart attack?
“You look so different with that hair.” And he grabs my hair and pulls me in his arms. I’m stiff with fear and I have no idea what to do.
I feel his moist lips against mine and I let go. I put my arms around him and kiss him back. It feels so simple and the pain in my chest is almost gone now.
Sara hug us and kisses first my cheek then Nick’s.
“I should have done this years ago.” She smiles and leaves us alone.
I start to tremble and Nick just holds me tighter.
“Sara has a point; we could have done this so long ago.” He is speaking into my half open mouth. I’m overwhelmed and words just escape me. So I kiss him with a passion I had forgotten all about.
Six hours ago I was ready to leave for good, now nothing can take me away.