A Chance to Say Something by gregs_girl666 [Reviews - 6]

Valentines Day, Greg Sanders hated Valentines Day. Many reasons helped towards his final conclusion of hatred,
1) It was a waste of money.
2) It was a waste of time.
And 3) Every single year he was alone during it.
The sight of all the couples exchanging gifts and cards made him want to wretch and the small feeling of emptiness in his stomach to grow. Especially when he saw the purpose of his being, Nick Stokes carrying a red envelope and dropping it into the staff mail box.
“Probably for Sara or Mandy…” Greg muttered to himself.
Nick Stokes had been the focus of Greg’s non-existent love life for over 7 years. Fantasizing, daydreaming and the occasional VERY GOOD dream. The kind that required cold showers and laundry.
There was only one day left until doomsday and Greg was busy playing ‘Name That Chemical Compound’ with Nick. He would never admit it, but Greg didn’t like ‘N.T.C.C’ it was just a way to get Nick to stay in his lab a little longer.
“So what lucky lady gets your attention this year, Greggo?” Nick asked twirling a pen through his fingers.
“What are you talking about?” Greg answered thoroughly perplexed.
“Duh, Valentines Day Casanova! Come on who’d you give a card to? Sara?”
“Oh right, Valentines. To be honest I don’t actually DO V day ya know. It’s just a day where people exchange overpriced cards and tacky pink, white and red novelties.” Greg stated pointedly not looking at Nick, instead playing with the Thermocycler.
“Oh.” Nick said sounding slightly downtrodden. “It’s not all bad I mean it gives you the chance to tell someone how you really feel without having to say it to their face.”
“Or have your heart smashed into a million pieces. It’s just not worth it.” Greg practically ignored the hurt look on Nick’s face. *I’m sure it won’t deter him from pursuing Sara or Mandy.*
“Whatever.” And Nick left without another word.
*it gives you the chance to tell someone how you really feel without having to say it to their face.* Those words had sunk in and were really starting to bug his own belief in a crap holiday.
When Greg arrived at work, he unhappily remembered that Nick had the night off, not that he’d see much of him while he was off hitting on someone else.
Near the end of the night while Greg was getting a cup of coffee he turned round and saw Jacqui leaving the usual Valentines cards from the staff mailbox next to everyone. Greg sighed and pushed his way through the lab door. In the middle of his workstation sat a red envelope with his name written on it. He examined the crimson square carefully and slipped his finger into the side to open it.
Out of the envelope fell a CD leaving a letter inside. The CD had had the words Fallen Leaves on it and Greg slipped it in his walkman. As his ears were filled with Forever December by Tabitha’s Secret, he read the letter:

Dear Greg,
Happy Valentines.
We’ve known each other for several years and I thought this would be
the best way to tell you something I’ve been keeping inside.
For years, I’ve watched you in the lab, seen you go through hell from
the guys because of your fashion sense and been proud of your

determination of getting out into the field.
You have no idea how hard this letter is to write.
People may not treat you with respect or for the wonderful beautiful you
are but just know that I will always be there to support and love you.
I hope you do make it as a CSI because I know you’ll succeed at anything
you put your mind to.
Greg, I know how much you do and I appreciate every little thing.
From the way you are able to bring a smile to my face during the most
grizzly cases we face and how you hog that coffee of yours. The
way your face lights up when you’re told you’re helping us in the field or
how you play that music of yours really loud.
I made you this CD to try to tell you how you make me feel (sorry no
Black Flag or Marilyn Manson but it’s not completely terrible.)
I couldn’t keep this inside anymore so here it is, this is what’s been
killing me for not saying. When I saw the lab explosion all I could think
about was trying to get you out but the EMT’s dragged me away.
I cried that night, I thought I had lost you. All I’d be left with an empty
space. I still feel empty because I can’t be with you. I don’t
want to be empty anymore. Please be mine.
Yours Always,

Greg could feel the tear make its way down his cheek and he brushed it away and got up to leave.
Greg drove straight to Nicks place as fast as he could. He banged on the front door for it to be opened by a shirtless Texan.
“Greg! What are y..” Nick was cut off by Greg crushing their lips together. Tears started to fall from the lab techs eyes as his tongue demanded entry to the warm recesses of the other mans mouth. Greg put his arms over Nick’s shoulders and had his hips grasped and pulled forward by strong tanned arms. Greg's hand slid under Nick’s shirt to flatten against his chest, soaking in body heat and the feel of Nick’s heartbeat against his palm. He felt the other man shiver against him and he drew back. “I take it you got my letter?” Nick asked when he regained his breathing.
“Yeah, I did. Thank you.” Greg kissed the joint of Nick’s jaw to his neck.
“I meant every word, G. Sorry ‘bout the CD.”
“What are you talking about? I loved it. I love you.” Greg tilted his head up for a kiss Nick was only happy to oblige.
“I love too Greg.”
Greg woke up to an unfamiliar bed with warmth pressed up against his back. Nick shifted closer and tucked his hand through Greg’s arms and under the younger mans head. Quietly to himself Greg whispered just four words before he sucumb to more sex-numbed sleep.
*I love Valentines Day*

Nicks CD was still playing as they fell asleep, the words of Forever December washing over them.

Hey now, now, now
Hey baby,
Baby’s gotten older
My baby’s gotten older

Hey now, now, now
Hey baby
The tide is turning
Don’t turn me away
(Forever December by Tabitha’s Secret.),


(for a copy of 'Fallen Leaves' Visit :
for the front and back covers, the track listing is on the back cover.)
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