CSI
I Am Aware Now by slashyboy [Reviews - 3]

A/N: Lemme jump in here with a disclaimer. This fic was inspired by Alanis Morissette's "Head Over Feet" and uses the lyrics to the song in the fic without permission. They're not mine.

I Am Aware Now

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like Iím a princess
Iím not used to liking that
You ask how my day was


I never thought I could seriously like a guy. Especially a guy like Greg. But whatever, because it happened.

Heíd joke with me in the lab and Iíd tease right back (I guess, now, that all that was flirting). Random acts of kindness focused on me became commonplace. It was harmless fun, right? Thatís what I thought. That is, thatís what I thought until it didnít stop. We went out to dinner, breakfast, whatever you want to call it, after shift one morning. Shared some beers and some good pancakes. Thatís when Greg laid it all out on the table.

He told me he was into guys, told me he had feelings for me and wanted to know how I truly felt about him. Honestly, I didnít know. What I did know was that, somehow, we ended up at his house, naked and hard and horny.

And I loved it.

Youíve already won me over
In spite of me
And donít be alarmed if I fall
Head over feet
And donít be surprised if I love you
For all that you are
I couldnít help it
Itís all your fault


It didnít stop after that one night. I came back, hungering, thirsting for more. More of him, more of his body. All the flirting I had ever done? It all had deeper meaning behind it. It wasnít just friendly banter. Well, it looked that way to everyone else. But thatís what we wanted.

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
Youíre so much braver than I gave you credit for
Thatís not lip service

Youíve already won me over
In spite of me
And donít be alarmed if I fall
Head over feet
And donít be surprised if I love you
For all that you are
I couldnít help it
Itís all your fault


Greg would make sure I knew that he truly loved me. All the time. Heíd slip notes in my locker like a teenager on Valentineís Day; heíd whisper sweet nothings while we were lying in bed after a hot smutty night.

I never said ďI love you.Ē But I really didnít know! I loved the way he felt around and under me, but was I ready to get into a serious relationship with him? We fucked all the time, and thatís all I wanted at the time. If I was horny, Iíd call him up and heíd be more than willing. And it worked the other way around. I knew he wanted all of me, not just my sex, but I didnít want him the same way.

Not yet.

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

Youíre the best listener that Iíve ever met
Youíre my best friend, best friend with benefits
What took me so long?


It hit me like a freight train.

I was right in the middle of a case, working a homicide with Cath and Warrick when it just hit me.

I wanted him too.

Iíve never felt this healthy before
Iíve never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now


Cath and Warrick noticed the sudden change. I stood up quickly, a piece of bright orange fabric between tweezers, grinning like an idiot.

ďWhatís up with you?Ē Warrick asked with a raised eyebrow.

Realizing where I was, I wiped the far-too-happy expression off my face and shrugged it off. My two colleagues shared a confused expression but I ignored them, dropped the cloth into an evidence bag.

I practically sprinted into the lab. I had to find Greg, had to talk to him, had to see him, dammit. I found him in the trace lab, hunched over a microscope.

Not caring who saw me, I put a hand on Gregís shoulder and leaned close. Leaned so close my lips were almost touching his ear.

ďMy place after shift. We gotta talk.Ē

Greg turned to me with what was, at first, a worried expression, but when he saw the ecstatic grin plastered on my face he conjured one to match.

Youíve already won me over
In spite of me
And donít be alarmed if I fall
Head over feet
And donít be surprised if I love you
For all that you are
I couldnít help it
Itís all your fault


That night, with a home-cooked Texas meal on the table in front of us, I told him. I explained that I discovered that when we fucked, it was beyond fucking. It was making love. I I leaned across the table and kissed him hard. Told him I loved him.

Later, we made love for what mustíve been hours, slowly and sensually. It was the best sex I ever had.

Youíve already won me over
In spite of me
And donít be alarmed if I fall
Head over feet
And donít be surprised if I love you
For all that you are
I couldnít help it
Itís all your fault


Head over feet was the only explanation. I was completely smitten for Greg. His spiky hair, his perverse sense of humor, his openness - I cherished everything about him. And I know he felt the exact same way about me.

I couldnít help it
Itís all your fault...


One night, we stood atop a mountain ridge overlooking the bright Vegas lights twinkling like jewels. I slid my arms around his waist and pulled him close. ďThis is all your fault, Greg.Ē

ďWhat is?Ē he asked, turning to look at me with a confused expression.

ďLove,Ē I replied simply.

That said it all.
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